


It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right (I hope you had the time of your life)

by Band_obsessed



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Like really angsty, M/M, Reality, This killed me to write, Zayn leaving, fuck man, like if you squint - Freeform, non-au, slight larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 01:59:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3632391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Band_obsessed/pseuds/Band_obsessed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never thought this would be how One Direction ended, none of them did. It was as if one minute they were fine and happy and laughing and then the next it was all falling apart and suddenly it wasn't what he wanted to do anymore. And soon enough he was standing in the studio in front of his four best friends, his four brothers, and trying not to cry.</p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>Zayn leaving and this is my interpretation of his thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right (I hope you had the time of your life)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, first off, this killed me to write. Like, I am still really worked up over this whole thing and this song that it's based off made it like a hundred times worse. That leads me onto the second point, I do not own 'Time of your life (good riddance)' all rights are reserved to Greenday and their respective owners. That being said, I also don't own One Direction (although I wish I did).
> 
> Without further ado... enjoy!

He never thought this would be how One Direction ended, none of them did. It was as if one minute they were fine and happy and laughing and then the next it was all falling apart and suddenly it wasn't what he wanted to do anymore. And soon enough he was standing in the studio in front of his four best friends, his four brothers, and trying not to cry.

“I love you guys. I really do. And I hope you know that I’m rooting for you. You’re gonna continue to be the best band that’s ever existed.” He stated, voice cracking in places, tailing off into a whisper as the emotion tightened its grip around his throat, restricting any sound apart from choked off sobs. Liam was the first one to move, to break the heavy silence that had filled the room, seeped in from the cracks until it was almost suffocating.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” He reassured him and Zayn wanted to scream out, because no, no it wasn't okay, he was betraying them, but he couldn't bring himself to speak, simply stared at his scuffed shoes and tried to push back the already falling tears. Niall spoke next, blue eyes misted over with a layer of salt water, filling higher and higher by the second until the dam broke and the tears began to drip down his face when he blinked.

“He’s right. It’s not your fault if you’re not happy. Your own happiness comes before anything else, mate.” He whispered, the lump in his throat to big to do much else, Irish accent thicker with sadness.

“Don’t go, Zayn. Please don’t do this. We need you. We need you so much.” Harry begged from where he was standing, green eyes boring into Zayn’s own hazel ones, darker now with tears. Louis put a hand on his arm, lightly squeezing in reassertion before clearing his own throat and speaking out.

“I’m gonna fucking miss you, Zayn. Like really fucking miss you, and you’re a dick for not telling us sooner but Niall’s right, your happiness is the most important thing. You need to put yourself first. Always.” He confirmed, bringing a sleeve up to futilely wipe his eyes, the rough material only adding to the growing redness.

“C’mere, mate.” Liam said, opening his arms and allowing Zayn to fall into them, his head burrowing into Liam’s neck. It was different from all the other times that they’d hugged, sure, Liam still cradled the back of his head and rubbed his back, but this felt so different, so strange. It was as if this was the last hug they were ever gonna have, which was stupid because he was just leaving the band, not throwing himself off a cliff. When they finally pulled apart, Niall launched himself at Zayn, jumping into his arms and sobbing into his neck, body racking. The black haired boy staggered slightly before bringing his arms to wrap around Niall, holding on tightly, tears spilling down his own face. It was a good three minutes before the younger boy let go, blue eyes still brimming with fresh tears, water tracks drying on his slightly pink cheeks.

“Alright, come on, Ni. It’s okay.” Liam muttered, gently detaching Niall from the older boy, only to bring him into a hug of his own. Harry moved from hugging Louis and looked up at him with big, doe eyes, lashes long and clumped together with moisture, sadness splashed across his features like a headline from a newspaper. Zayn’s throat constricted upon seeing the youngest boys face, new tears streaming down his cheeks, biting his lip to refrain from making sound. Harry slowly walked over to Zayn, clearly trying to keep some dignity. He only snapped when Zayn opened his arms and soon he was all but sprinting to him, face burying into his neck, hands wrapped tightly around his middle. It was clear that hugging him was more painful than reassuring for Harry as, after a minute or so, he pulled back with a sob. Just as he was about to turn away, Harry reached round to Zayn’s back pocket and slipped something into it, the weight noticeable as it dropped in. With a small, forced smile, he turned on his heel and went to hug Niall and Liam, Louis being a bit preoccupied in his own feelings.

“One last hug, bro?” Zayn asked, smiling properly when Louis glared teasingly and merely shook his hand after fist bumping him. The facade of not caring became a little too overwhelming and within half a minute, Louis gave in and allowed himself to collapse against his best mate.

“This better not be the last hug, Malik. If I have to hunt you down and chain you up to get another one I fucking will.” Louis warned, clutching at the material of Zayn’s teeshirt as if it were his lifeline, the last real thing that was keeping him attached to reality. Nodding, Zayn squeezed Louis impossibly tighter, relishing the feeling of his body pressed to his, trying to enjoy the moment before it was gone.

“Lou.” Harry croaked, seconds away from having a full blown break down and Louis pulled back, sniffing slightly and shooting Zayn a small smile. Harry clambered into his arms and sobbed into his neck, frantically clawing at his back, trying to get control over something.

“Shh. You’re okay. It’s okay. M’here. Shh.” The elder reassured, rubbing his back and rocking him lightly, shooting Zayn a stern look, torn between crying at the fact he was leaving forever or yelling at him for upsetting Harry like this. Sadness won out, though, it always did, and soon he was crying just as much as everyone else.

“Let’s see him out, boys. One last time.” Liam said, keeping an arm around a still sobbing Niall as Louis all but carried Harry out with them. A big, black car was waiting for him out the front when the five boys walked out the studio doors for the last time ever, tears freely falling down all of their faces, eyes puffy and red. With a small nod, Zayn waved and climbed into the back, eyes trained on the four boys as the car started up and drove away. He started until he couldn't make out their faces anymore, until the figures merged into the scenery, until the studio disappeared on the horizon. Pulling out a pair of headphones, he plugged them into his iPod with shaking hands and stinging eyes, needing something, anything to take the edge off. The tune that played did the opposite and soon tidal waves were cascading down his cheeks.

_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go So make the best of this test, and don't ask why It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time_

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life._

Memories clouded his vision, consuming all coherent thoughts, replacing them with nostalgia and sadness. He remembered back to his first X-Factor audition, thought back to how he didn't want to even go, didn't want to get up and out of bed. He thought back to the unbelievable happiness he felt when he was put through, the joy that made his heart swell. He thought back to the time when he didn't get through, the time where he was left standing on stage with another twenty boys all equally heartbroken. He remembered getting put into a band, the surreal feeling of it all. He still remembered the boys’ faces that day, the happiness written across all of their features as the news was broken, still remembered the way Louis jumped into Harry’s arms, the way he, Niall and Liam hugged like they were old friends. He remembered the fire at Harry’s stepdad’s place, the camping trip, making the movie. He remembered and remembered and he couldn’t stop, the lyrics pouring his thoughts out for him. 

_So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial For what it's worth it was worth all the while._

He thought about the enormous amount of pictures he had stored on his phone, pictures from old birthdays, from stadiums. Pictures from sleepovers, from weddings, from three am in morning when they were all jet lagged and texting back and forth. He promised himself that he’d get some of them framed, hang them on shelves just like the song suggested. Looking down at his tattoos, he thought about the matching screw tattoos they all had, (minus Niall) and suddenly didn't feel worthy to wear it on his ankle knowing that he’d betrayed them, broken the promise to stay together through it all. He thought about Liam’s chevrons tattoo, one for each of them, and that only brought a fresh wave of tears crashing through him, sobs racking his body because he didn't deserve to be on Liam’s arm. Not after this.

_it's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life._

The lyrics were right, he thought. Life was unpredictable, was stupid and wild and crazy but that’s the point. It would be ridiculously boring if he knew everything, if everything was planned out, every even plotted like a graph. He took out the thing that Harry had slipped into his back pocket, completely forgetting about it until he shifted and it dug into his skin. A ring. His ring. Harry’s gold ring that he wore twenty four seven. It was as if that goddamn ring held all the answers known to mankind as everything clicked so it made sense, like the last piece of a jigsaw being slotted into place.

_it's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life._

He realised that his whole career had been unpredictable, every single aspect of it, not one thing could he have foreseen in his wildest dreams, not even this bit, the end. He also realised, in that moment, that every trial he’d faced, every tear he’d shed, every mistake he’d made, it had been worth it. Because, sure, he’d never seen this coming, but, he thought, he’d end it like it started, with a bang and a smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I made my friend cry so I apologise if this is too sad... I love you! xx


End file.
